I had planned a home birth, and everything was all set and all I had to do was just wait. Hubby and I had gone on a million walks trying to induce labor and the birth ball became my best friend. Tuesday 8am hit and I woke up with mild cramps and a bloody show! I was beyond excited! I called my mom and sent her pictures (a tad TMI) just to make sure it was a bloody show. All I wanted was company so my mom and siblings came over. We walked around Costco ( best idea ever! ) and then just relaxed after. It wasn't until Tuesday night when it was just hubby and me that contractions started getting stronger and closer together. The closer they got the more I had a craving for homemade Alfredo pasta. So what do hubby and I do? We went to Rayles to grab ingredients. I swear this kids first part of labor consisted of grocery store walking.
After dinner I couldn't focus on anything but the contractions. They started to become 15 minutes apart and strong. Hubby set up the birth pool in the living room and I tried to sleep between contractions. Nothing worked. I couldn't lay down and the only comfy thing was the birth ball but it was the middle of the night and I was getting exhausted. Throughout Tuesday night hubby helped me breath through the contractions and never left my side. When the midwives came Wednesday morning they checked me and I was only at 1cm. I had over hydrated which made me throw up and by the time the midwives came around 8am I was dehydrated because I couldn't even keep water down. The midwives tried to start the IV but all my veins were too small and dissappeared from the dehydration. I just remember going through contractions on the birth ball in the living room and the midwife, assistant midwife and hubby between contractions tried to find a vein. They mentioned an enema and that's when I really started praying that one of them finds a vein! Hubby tried and finally got it ( hubby has EMT and paramedic background). After that we just waited and worked through every contraction.
I knew birth was going to be hard. I had read every Ina May book, every natural childbirth book and hoped I had prepared enough. When I finally got to contractions though it was a whole new story. I was completely blessed to have my husband by my side. He talked me through every contraction, he rubbed my back for hours! Little E was coming posterior so the entire birth was back labor. I am eternally grateful for my hubby. In between contractions I would fall asleep, those few minutes all added up and helped in the end. Hours passed and hubby was still by my side. The midwives had to keep making sure he went to the bathroom and that he ate and drank. He never left and never stopped encourageing me. Through contractions he would make sure I wasn't tensing up or running from the pain. He breathed through the contractions with me and even made up a mantra that honestly became the only thing that worked! He would say in a deep voice "let it fllloooooowwwwww!" Imagine Dori in "Finding Nemo" trying to talk to the whale and that's basically what we were doing! He would tell me " it's a wave, let it pass, let it flooowwwww!". He was beyond perfect! I hit a rough spot and the temperature was rising in our house, the midwives started to mention a transfer. They were afraid I might have post partum hemorrhage if my temperature and blood pressure kept rising. For a few more hours they monitored me and E at home while we tried to get things moving. I tried the tub which slowed things down a bit. My midwife said she wanted things to get stronger so hubby and I walked all over our backyard doing lunges and hip circles. Little E didn't want it budge. Finally my midwife said we needed to make a decision. She said if she checked me and I was at 9cm I could stay and have E at home, if I wasn't we needed to transfer. I hoped and prayed that I was at a 9 but is was only at 5.
I had the funny idea weeks before the birth that if I didn't pack the hospital bag as a "just in case" then we wouldn't have to go to the hospital. I was wrong and felt so bad because hubby ran through the house and packed three bags in about less than two minutes (did I mention he's flipping awesome!?). I remember thinking "hey, the hospital has drugs, they have pain killers! I want the pain killers!! Or I can have a c-section! Then it'll all be over!" I told hubby in a low voice I want the drugs and I was thinking about a c-section. He was amazing and told me " it's okay, you have done so much and I know you're tired. It's not giving up. I'm proud of you!". He knew just what to say because after he had said that I knew I wasn't going to let all that hard work go I was going to go as long as I could! Hubby drove us to the hospital and in those 15 minutes I had dilated an extra 2cm! Once we got to the hospital I had to have a fetal monitor and the OBs came in and they were perfect! They listened to what we wanted and they said they would work with us for a natural birth. They let us be and then the real contractions started and it was the first time I had felt the intense urge to push! It was crazy and honestly felt like something had taken over me and I just pushed! A different OB came in and she wanted to pop my water and put a fetal monitor on E's head. I told her no, she tried to tell me why she wanted to and then left because I had to tell her no again. An hour or so later she came back in and asked me again! I had to tell her no again and what does she say in response? She said "why?" ! I remember telling her "because I said so!" That was the last I saw of her, I have no idea if she came back when E was born. Shortly after that my water broke and I tried laboring on all fours. E's heart rate dropped from 130 to 90 and I remember the look on hubby's and the midwive's faces, it wasn't good. They had me turn in my left side and E's heart rate went back to normal and the next thing I knew I was pushing. The nurse called the whole birthing staff in! At least it seemed like the whole birthing department was in my little room! And at that point I didn't care, I just wanted to meet E and I could feel him coming. I pushed and hubby told me he could see E's head. Once I heard that I pushed with everything I had! The staff had me push with the contractions and keep pushing for 10seconds with each contraction. Once E's head was out I started doing short bursts of 3second pushes. I pushed for only about 20-30 minutes total and then he was out and on my belly! That was the most phenomenal moment of my life when I felt E come out and saw him for the first time! He was crying and tiny and perfect! He didn't have any vernix which meant he was totally cooked and ready to come earth side. The OB waited to cut is cord as requested. Little E did have some meconium so they took him to the end of the room where the NICU staff was waiting. He never left the room which was perfect and hubby stayed with him for those few minutes. During that time the placenta came and once E was all checked he was placed on my chest for skin to skin and started nursing right away! Hubby did the most awesome thing after birth! He had saved half of his sandwhich for me ( without me asking!) and by the time E was born I was famished! I scarfed it down in less than a second! Once the medical team was gone hubby and I got to cuddle with E and then got some much deserved sleep!
****Forewarning**** this next part tells what happened in detail from the moment E was born and the complications that followed.
Once E was born the OBs saw a lot of blood and were concerned. The placenta came and with it more blood. They suspected a tear and saw that there was a second degree tear on the inner labia but they kept seeing more blood. The big tools then came out! I remember seeing huge things that looked like clamps and then they told me I had a really deep tear starting from the cervix and coming down. Talk about crazy! My midwife said a few days later during the checkup that she had never seen a tear go that deep and she's been an amazing midwife for 30 plus years! So because the tear was so deep they had to work fast while I was still somewhat numb from the birth because they couldn't get lidocaine or any numbing agent that far. All I could feel was crazy pressure and then I stared to feel pain as they stitched. My midwives and hubby were talking me through it, holding my hand and I was trying with all my might to focus on E and not on the stitching. Once the stitching was done I knew I was done! There was no more pain, just little E and hubby. In the end it turned out fine. There was an amazing team who was able to help with the emergency at the end and I am grateful for them.
Thinking back on my birth there are some days I am a little upset I didn't get to birth at home. Then I think "what would have happened if we hadn't have had the medical team we had at the hospital ?". I would have had to have been transferred via ambulance right after E was born and I wouldn't have been able to be with him and it would have been traumatic. Instead, I had a team of midwives who knew when to call it in and listen to their intuition and thankfully they did because I had a calm and knowledgable medical team at the hospital who was able to help and made it seem effortless. They didn't make me freak out, instead they told me what was happening and handled it accordingly and everything turned out perfect. Little E is here perfectly healthy, he loves sleeping and cuddling with me and hubby and he is getting chunkier by the day! I learned a lot from my birth; I learned no matter how big the contractions are I can handle them, that hospitals are there when you need them, rest when you can and push slow. The biggest things I learned were that no matter how much planning you have you never know what is going to happen and to stick to your guns! If you know you want a natural birth and you don't want any interventions ( and of course if you and baby are still safe) then stay with what you want! It's your birth. This was my birth, it wasn't perfect but I wouldn't change anything because E is here safe and nothing else matters.
This was right after E was born, the most amazing moment!
